The Artist

My First Creative Language

In a land far, far away, over a quarter of a century ago, there was a little girl who always felt different, though she didn't know why. She couldn't explain how she felt, and even when she tried, no one understood her.

She started journaling when she was eight. Odd, considering no one in her family did. Following that instinct, not only was she discovering her love for writing but she was also finding a channel, a safe space to say what she couldn't speak. She'd scribble little poems and musings at the back of all her notebooks and diaries, which she had many.

She was also an avid reader, always hungry to read more. It was how she travelled many lands and lived many lives. Bookstores are still like Disneyland to her. And stationery stores! And art supplies stores! But she digresses (she does that often).

Once she left home for her engineering degree, at age 17, her writing practice was never the same again. Neither was her reading. The girl who’d never not had a book in her hand went months without reading a page. For a long time, there were hardly any environments that nurtured creativity.

But she never stopped scribbling her poems and ramblings. The backs of her now many, many, many notebooks and diaries still look much the same. But she also writes in the front now :)

Writing poetry was the first art form she ever practiced and now she's determined to write more, once again. Here are some short excerpts from different phases of her life.

Read my poetry

My Art Today

Hello there, I'm Apeksha, a human and an artist. I’m also a late-diagnosed neurodivergent, immigrant, woman of colour. Quite a mouthful, all those labels! They're often helpful but sometimes, they can be another way for people to put you in a neat little box. I don’t like being put in a box.

I believe these many ways of being "different" , lend to a unique perspective - one that cannot be categorized in any single way. These differences can act as additional complex layers which inform and compound each other, constantly shaping my experience of the world and its experience of me, not to mention my experience of myself.

Soon after my ADHD diagnosis almost two years ago, I realized that I have been disconnected from my body for most of my life. Probably because I had to shut down every natural instinct I had in my body as a child, to avoid being disciplined. Again. 

Now that I am in safe environments and able to meet my own needs, I am reestablishing my connection with my body. And soon after I started this work, I got the itch to paint. 

Having never tried it before, I wasn't sure what to expect. A close friend graciously offered her art supplies and we set up a paint date. And I created my first abstract piece.

It unlocked something, much like it did with writing. It was a simultaneous pouring out and filling up in the best of ways. And I haven't stopped since. And I don't intend to either. Nor do I plan to stick to just one art form.

Having also tried (and loved) pottery, as well as learning the piano, I am learning different art forms are like portals for me. They allow me to access parts of myself that haven't always felt safe to be seen. They like to come out and play when I create without judgement and restriction.

It is now my mission to live my life in a way where all of me feels safe to come out and be seen. To pursue, to create, to be, in all of my glory.

My art practice is a commitment of unwavering support for my inner child and finding my way back to her. To that end, I will pursue whichever art form calls out to me. All the portals that need to open and all the cups that need to be poured and filled. I commit to create with a relentless allegiance to my humanity, my art, and my magic. :)

My life is to honour my nature,

To relish the fruit from my tree,

For that's all I truly have to offer,

To always be more of me.

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